<img height="1" width="1" style="display:none;" alt="" src="https://ct.pinterest.com/v3/?event=init&tid=2613556253294&pd[em]=&noscript=1" /> Skip to Content

6 Things You Should Do When Meeting Someone Overseas

You’ve met this great guy online and feel like it’s time to meet. It’s exciting and exhilarating but slow down! Meeting someone online has never been easier however it’s time to proceed with caution. Meeting someone overseas is a big step.

Online dating is one of the most popular ways to meet a partner and it’s opened up the world in a way that nothing else ever has. This also means being exposed to a lot more danger than ever before. Bad things can happen anywhere but it’s important to take steps to protect yourself physically and financially. 

6 steps every woman needs to take when meeting someone overseas

I get countless emails from women who have met Moroccan (and sometimes from other Arab countries) men and want me to weigh in on the validity of their relationships. I refuse to do this because I don’t personally know either of them.

But, 99% of the time my brain is screaming RUN! There are so many bad scenarios and situations that people find themselves in, hoping that it’s simply cultural differences that will later be resolved.

This is most often not the case and both people are left having had a bad experience and judging all men by the same yardstick. The reality is THERE ARE men who simply want to scam women for money, residency or a way out of the country. There are also men who are insanely genuine; unfortunately the bad often outweigh the good.

So, if you find yourself in a situation where you’ve met someone overseas, what should you do?

Should I travel to meet a guy I met online? (or girl)

Falling in love with someone online from another country has many hurdles to overcome. There’s no simple answer to the question of whether you should fly to another country to meet someone and there are many variables to take into consideration. Not so long ago it was very strange to meet a potential partner online. Today however falling in love with someone online is much more common.

Where people tend to get nervous is when the other partner lives in another country and there may be some travel involved. No matter how long or how well you think you know someone, it’s quite easy to portray one thing online and another in person.

Before taking this step, it’s important to take steps to protect yourself.

Consider these six things as you walk this road.

Your Heart is Great But… Use Your Head

I did my share of crazy. Many people would say that what I did after I met MarocBaba was insane, and maybe it was. I know personally of a lot of women meeting men online in other countries and then uprooting their entire lives to move to said country and start a life together. Sometimes it works, but a lot of times it ends up leading to big problems.

Things aren’t always what they seem. When considering a relationship it’s fine to let your heart lead you but use your head too.

If something seems off, trust your instinct.

Listen to your gut. Do not allow yourself to get so wrapped up in romance or the idea of something that you ignore everything else. Use the same yardstick you would with a man from your own culture, don’t play off things simply because “he’s from a different culture.”

If you really can’t stand a certain trait don’t assume it will ever change. You also may want to read this post about the good, the bad, and the ugly of meeting someone overseas.

Leave a Record of Where You Will Be

Before meeting someone, and especially when traveling overseas to meet someone, you should leave a clear record of where you will be. This is not the time to evasive or elusive.

What information to leave should include copies of your passport, travel documents, addresses where you will be staying, and who you will be with. If this changes while you are traveling, update someone at home with the information.

If you will be meeting someone new, get as much of their information as possible. Where they live (address), their full name, birthday, parents names, really just any and everything you can and document it. You might even ask them for a copy of their national ID card so you can verify their identity and have it just in case.

If they don’t want to share this information it should be considered a red flag. Protect yourself first and foremost and don’t let their hesitation to provide you with information that could help keep you safe guilt you into feeling bad.  

Set Check-In Times with a Trusted Friend

Talk with your friends and family before you travel to give them a rough timeline of your plans. Let them know how often you will try to check in. Then create a plan with them on what they should do if they don’t hear from you within a determined time period. 

This is one of the conversations people do not want to have because they feel like if they admit they have concerns or want to have a plan their loved ones might be less supportive. Having a plan just in case does not mean something will for sure happen. It’s simply making sure there are next steps to follow.

If you don’t feel like a parent or sibling is supportive and receptive then choose a close friend that can be your check-in person. Most importantly be sure that you stick to the plan or you alert if you will be deviating. Your check-in buddy should also be ready and prepared to take the next step if you miss your check-in time and not just shrug it off.

Take Steps to Protect Yourself

Do NOT trust someone at face value. You should do some research to know not only who the person you are meeting is but learn about the place you are going. Make sure you have the numbers for your embassy or foreign mission.

You also should research ahead of time so that you know how to reach them, not only by phone but physically. Is there a bus route? Do you need a taxi? Make sure that you have money available to do this.

If you are meeting someone new it is advisable that you book a hotel room or private accommodation. This gives you time to meet up but also space in case things do not go as planned. “Dating” when you first arrive is a good way to break the ice, get to know the person, and decide if your online feelings translate offline.

If you do decide to stay with the person you are meeting, have enough money and resources available to leave if you need to. Keep your identifying documents and financial resources near or on your person at all times.  

Register with Your Embassy and Foreign Affairs Department

Most countries have a program in place for citizens to register when they are traveling abroad. Do it and keep the information updated. If your family is unsure where you are or if you are in need of assistance, your government needs to have as much information about you as possible to help find you.

This is also important if there is a natural disaster or other emergencies in the country you are visiting. Embassies work to identify where their citizens are, and if they have been affected. If you don’t let them know where you are, they won’t know where to look for you.

If you’re a US Citizen this is where you would register – STEP Enrollment

Sound Too Good To Be True? It Probably Is…

If I had a penny for all of the stories I have heard men tell women about how they’re going to wine and dine and sweep them off their feet I would own a private island by now.

The bottom line is, if something sounds too good to be true, it probably is.

Don’t let your emotions or your desire for it to be true, overcome the reality of what it is. 

I truly believe that most people in the world are good, but I also know that there are people who are not. This post isn’t meant to scare people out of visiting other countries (because bad things happen everywhere) but are some practical tips that should be kept in mind to stay safe when traveling. 

Looking for more help navigating a new cross-cultural relationship?

So many people have requested help with this so I put together an ebook that you can use to assess your situation. It provides insight on what to look for and also questions to ask before meeting in person, discussion questions, and an activity for you and your partner.

Sharing is caring!

Amanda Mpofu

Thursday 15th of February 2024

I met my boyfriend on facebook hes from the US and ialm from south africa we get along very well he sends me money and love my kids dearly so i want to know will my visa be approved to travel to US hes not fit to travel hes sick has a kidney failure so hes on dailiesis i wanna know

Amanda Mouttaki

Thursday 15th of February 2024

Unfortunately no one has any way to know if it will. With US visas you have to prove you will return to your home country.That is the #1 thing that is looked for.


Wednesday 9th of August 2023

I met a guy from Nigeria Africa and he says he loves me we have been talking 3 months he says he will be coming to America soon next year he is in biu there in Africa it's a school ... But like he has asked me for money and I won't give him any ... He did say nvm I won't ever ask again but ... Idk I really truly care about him I've offered to come to his country to visit him he says he will come to mine.... Some of the people he goes to school with sent me friends request on FB and when he found out he wanted me to delete them all .... Idk why... And he says his family knows about me and he has met most of mine cause of FB and I get he is in school we have FaceTimed and talked on the phone we talk everyday too... I know he is real lol ... I just idk I'm confused I want him to be for real but I just wonder anymore what do you think I should do?

Amanda Mouttaki

Tuesday 15th of August 2023

This isn't up for anyone to decide but you but if you feel even a small hint that something is off, trust yourself even if you want to be wrong.

Sakeeia Minniefield

Monday 17th of July 2023

I met a guy over in Lagos Nigeria nice guy good conversation ,when he ask me for money I was done with him and no I didn't send him any ,SO a few days later he contacted me said he wasn't after my money .I believe he really loves me but I'm not really really sure we spend a lot of time on the phone ,I would love to meet him in person but I wouldn't go over their he would have to come to the States first

Aee Cha

Saturday 24th of June 2023

I met one guy online, 2 months ago and he's living at Texas in America, miles from me.. We always chat on Watsapp and Instagram and when he ask of my location, I told him and he promise me 2 help me on the Passport and also 2 introduce me 2 one man named Mr Felix living in Abuja, the Man that will help me 2 process my Passport without collecting nor asking me any amount.. Me and that Mr Felix started chatting on Watsapp and when he collect all my Information for the Passport, he promise 2 inform me when the passport is ready.. He told me on Friday that the passport is ready that he will bring it but before that I will have 2 pay him 10k for transport fare but I'm confused and also scared of them, that maybe they are scammer... The Man that's living in Texas always ask me about the Passport but now I don't know nor understand them again..... Please what do you think I can do because I'm scared now ⁉️ 🙏🙏🙏

Amanda Mouttaki

Sunday 25th of June 2023

I can't tell you what to do but I would NOT trust any of these people. This 100% sounds like a scam and a human trafficking situation.


Monday 1st of May 2023

Hi I'm Annabel I meet an online guy on Facebook four months ago we chatted so long but he, has a kids I always wanted to give it up, he is living in America a miles away from me, but right now we are still communicating he told me he's coming over to my country end of May, but the problem is that he is always talking about sexting things when we're chatting I love he even though he's older than me I'm 20 and he's 45 years old are also want advise from you should I still be communicating with he because he want to come over to me as soon as possible

Amanda Mouttaki

Tuesday 2nd of May 2023

As an older woman with a child your age every bell in my head is going off. I would not recommend meeting this man. His behavior is not respectful towards you and I worry about your safety. Protect yourself!