weight struggles

The 3 Negative Results of Losing Weight

In All other posts by Amanda Mouttaki22 Comments

This week has been hard for me and I almost feel guilty writing this post but when I told you about my weight loss surgery and subsequent experiences for many months now, I promised I would be open and honest, and this is going to be that. It’s time to throw out the rainbows and unicorns.  It’s time to talk about the other side of things.

10 months 65 pounds

In our society there’s an all obsessive compulsion with weight loss, especially among women.  You find this in many cultures but not all. Women assume that once they hit a magical scale number all will be right and well with the world.  The problem is, it’s not. Sometimes, hitting that number means there are more problems than you started with.  For those of us *raising my hand* who have been overweight our entire lives it’s really, really hard.

I know right, she’s complaining about actually having lost weight. How rude is that??!?

I’m talking about it because there are a lot of problems that I never knew would pop up that are happening, because I know there are other people who have similar experiences.  I want anyone reading this who has experienced this, or who might experience it to know that they shouldn’t feel guilty because;

I feel guilty that I had weight loss surgery.  That I didn’t do it the “right way,” that somehow I didn’t deserve to have help.

I feel guilty that I have had the help and support of Shaklee products over the last 5 months.

I feel guilty that I feel bad that I’ve lost so much weight!

There I said it.

When you go through a radical life change like this I don’t know how you don’t experience immense emotions.  Every part of you changes; your outlook, your focus, your life! There are internal struggles and challenges and there are a lot of effects this can have on your family.  Here are the 3 big things I’m struggling with right now.

1) Feeling Good and Dressing Well.

For my entire life, I have shopped in the “big sizes” at the store.  I have purchased items that were billowy and certainly nothing that might hug my body. I wore big jeans, and over shirts. I’m not saying I was frumpy but I did whatever I could to hide my body because I was so ashamed of, and hated how I looked.  So, now that I have lost enough weight to wear things that most people would consider stylish, I have no clue how to shop for them.  Add to this the need for”modest” clothing and I feel forced back into those big baggy clothes.  The issue is when I’m wearing those things I hate myself, it makes me feel sick, like I’m drowning.  All of those feelings from heavier days come flooding back.  I’m not saying I need to (or want to!) run around in strappy tank tops and short-shorts but I don’t know how to balance modesty and well-fitting clothes that make me feel good to wear.  I will take any and all suggestions/help on this subject!

2) Attention

I’m a very happily married woman.  I love my husband dearly and would never intentionally do something to attract the attention of another man. That being said, I’ve not really ever been in the position where a random man has engaged directly with me in anymore than a very casual business or social encounter. I realize now that I do not know how to respond to men who might be “flirting.” I suppose if I were looking to date someone this might be welcome but as I’m not I don’t even know the right way to deflect this attention.  Thankfully with 2 kids in tow I think most overt attention goes by the wayside.

3) Your “Diet”

With this being Ramadan, a month of fasting (no food or water from sunrise to sunset) for Muslims, I have gotten much disapproval when I share that I am not fasting. There are medical exceptions for not fasting, of which I have one. There are approximately 6 hours a day when we are permitted to eat and drink – about 1/3 of the window I normally have to eat and drink. It’s very safe to say that within a day or two I would wind up in the hospital dehydrated were I to try fasting. There simply is not enough time for me to eat and drink enough to be safe. That being said, some have suggested I put aside “my diet” until Ramadan is done.  I’m not sure which part of “I have had a gigantic portion of my stomach surgically removed” is lost on them. This is not a diet.  I can not physically eat or drink more than my stomach allows. At the end of the fasting day, I can’t sit down and eat a big plate of food, I’d be lucky to drink a 1/4 of a bowl of soup. This lack of understanding extends beyond Ramadan, I’m just feeling the pressure of it even more right now.

I didn’t expect any of these things.  I didn’t prepare, and I don’t really know how I would have prepared. But, this is reality.  But, I don’t want all of this to come off negatively.  I do have several people who have been and continue to be incredibly supportive to me.  They love me today as much as they loved me one year ago. I am able to cry when I’m frustrated and share my feelings knowing that they offer a safe place to vent and words of wisdom to help me go on. I am so glad that I’ve had the help of a great group of women bloggers, as a part of the Shaklee 180 blogger challenge. This group has provided me a place to hear about other people’s struggles and share my own.  Having support when losing weight (and after) is critically important. You will face challenges, they might not be the same as mine, but at the end of the day having someone to hold you up and help you work through issues as they arise, you will come out stronger.

Thanks for being there.

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Disclaimer: This is a sponsored post as part of the Shaklee Corporation blogger program. I have received free products, online support, and incentives for participating. My opinions are my 100% own. People following the weight-loss portion of the Shaklee 180™ Program can expect to lose 1-2 pounds per week.

Amanda MouttakiThe 3 Negative Results of Losing Weight

Comments

  1. Katy Rose

    Hang in there! I have to say I have struggled for years on how to dress modestly while still looking and feeling great. I think there is a happy medium to be achieved and it is one I love exploring on my blog. It takes some trial and error as well as some creativity. – Katy

  2. Mary Ann

    I have a hard time finding a balance between modest and fashionable too. Some good companies to check out are modcloth.com and shadeclothing.com

    You’re doing a great job, though – don’t let the negative overshadow all the good you’ve accomplished!

  3. Serena Michelle

    I’ve lost 135 pounds in 17 months the good old fashioned way; healthy diet and exercise. I had seriously considered weight loss surgery at one point because I had completely given up hope that I could lose the weight on my own. When I read what life would be like after the surgery (extremely limited food portions, lifelong vitamin/supplements, etc…) I decided against it. I figured if I would have to make such drastic changes to my diet after the surgery – I could make reasonable changes without surgery and lose the weight – so that’s what I did.

    It’s interesting the differences in our viewpoints/outlook on weight loss though given our different approaches.

    I’ve wore plus sized clothes since I was a senior in high school. I used to ABHOR clothes shopping. Seriously, it was always a game of finding something that is cute and fits without showing my rolls and fluffy parts. Now I LOVE shopping for clothes – so much so that I have to force myself to stop buying clothes because I now have a closet full of clothes. I went from a size 22/24 to a size 6/8 – and I’m absolutely LOVING the fact I can pull things off the rack and not worry if it’s going to fit – I have to worry if it’s going to be too big! I much prefer that feeling! :D

    If you’re at a a loss on what to wear I strongly suggest browsing Pinterest for outfit ideas – but I highly recommend sticking with classic styles that you can wear years to come… “trendy” things don’t usually stay trendy for long.

    I cover when I go outside (and I usually have my kids with me) – so I have yet to have a man flirt with me – but I have had some lingering looks. Let them look – the sin is on them, not me. (Ps. I LOVE Shukr abayas and jilbabs – I feel stylish even though I cover)

    As for diet… that’s primarily why I decided against surgical weight loss. I knew there was no way I could be content eating just a few OUNCES of food a day. I never even considered the ramifications of not being able to fast. That must be very difficult both emotionally and physically! HUGS to you!

    1. Author
      Amanda Mouttaki

      Thanks so much for sharing your experience Serena. I know weight loss surgery isn’t for everyone and I seriously think it’s awesome for anyone to really put their mind to it and lose the weight. Even with surgery I can’t just sit back, I have to watch what I eat and work out. I think I’m still in the “I don’t know what size I really wear” stage vs “in my new size” if that makes sense. When I was heavier I just wore whatever in a big size and didn’t really care. Now I don’t want to feel like I’m drowning but am not really sure how to feel comfortable. It’s hard to get into words I guess! Diet wise I am completely fine. I eat smaller portions but it’s way more than a few ounces a day. I am super happy that I can really eat almost anything, even if it’s a few bites. I couldn’t stop eating before, especially if it was something I really liked, but now there’s a physical limitation to force a stop. At first it was hard to get used to but now it’s much easier. Thanks again for sharing your story – and congrats!

  4. Aishia

    MashaAllah. You are beautiful and talented! Don’t spend your Ramadaan feeling any guilt. Just focus on your faith, family, and wonderful recipes! You’re one if my new favorite blogs!

  5. Vanessa, DeSuMama

    So proud of you! And although you do look beautiful (you always have), I love that you are paying attention to your insides and how you are emotionally handling the new you. I will say, like many others have said, don’t feel guilty. I probably would too, so I know that’s way easier said than done, but I always ask myself this question when I start doubting or being unkind to myself: would you want your kids treating themselves the same way? If not, then allow yourself the grace. You surely deserve it!

    1. Author
      Amanda Mouttaki

      As always Vanessa so eloquent and thought provoking. I’m so glad to call you my friend!

  6. Sharifah

    No reason to feel guilty, Amanda. You did what you needed to for your health and you look great might I add. What you did is not “the easy way.” it took strength to make such a life altering decision.

    I do understand Ramadan pressures, as well, although in the end this is between you and God.

    Again, you look great and try not to worry about others thoughts. Clothes, fashion, accepting the new you will ease with time, Hun.

    1. Author
      Amanda Mouttaki

      Thank you Sharifah. I really appreciate your kind words. One day I’ll look back on this too and smile, it’s just a step in the journey.

  7. Sharifah

    No reason to feel guilty, Amanda. You did what you needed to for your health and you look great might I add. What you did is not “the easy way.” it took strength to make such a life altering decision.

    I do understand Ramadan pressures, as well, although in the end this is between you and God.

    Again, you look great.

  8. Maribel Reyes

    Glad I’m not alone in this. I do like shopping for clothes now that I’ve lost some weight, but still feel weird buying regular size tops and sometimes I still go to plus size to look for bottoms :) I also empathize with number 2 and 3. I’ve been there with both of those. The guilt will always be there and the comments, peer pressure and judgment of others. So I’m working on not listening and growing a thick skin for those moments. :)

    1. Author
      Amanda Mouttaki

      You and me both Maribel! It’s very odd to go shopping because there are things I automatically gravitate toward. Then even when trying them on find the fit so different (besides the size issue!) Congrats on your weight loss!

  9. Rachel

    The Ramadan peer pressure bit is something that astounds me, because I see it all the time, in subtle and not-so-subtle ways. I’ve seen people in Morocco fasting who were pregnant, nursing, or with serious medical conditions, even though they’re not supposed to fast, as if it were a piety contest. As the wife of a Muslim who is not Muslim myself, I have also had many people tell me over the years that I should be fasting to support him. People really like to get in other people’s business where Ramadan is concerned.

    When you move to Morocco you’ll see a lot of women fashionably yet modestly dressed in a distinctively Moroccan way – I bet you’ll get lots of great ideas there!

    1. Author
      Amanda Mouttaki

      I was having a conversation with some other women who are married to Moroccan men and some that were married to other Muslim men and the piety/Ramadan fasting contest seems to be a big theme in Moroccan Ramadan culture. I just can’t grasp why you would but your health and life (or baby for that matter) in danger when there are specific allowances made for you to not do this. I’ve not been able to find a good answer to this yet… I am looking forward to finding more clothing options when we move!

      1. Jacqueline

        Because, they are educated on their Deen ( way of life). Some Muslims get caught up in culture, not what God has said or their prophet (PBUH).

        1. Jacqueline

          Sorry, I meant to say because they are not educated on their Deen.

  10. tnh9479

    I totally understand. I have done all sorts of things over the years to lose weight. I always gained it back because the fat is a cover over the real me. The emotional part is sooooooo much harder than the physical part. Keep working at it and know you have all of our support.

  11. Mrs C

    I really respect you speaking out! What a blessing your vulnerability will be to others in the same place!
    As for clothes, have you looked at Shukr? I like their modest clothing that isn’t super baggy… http://www.shukronline.com/urban.html

    Thanks again,
    Mrs C

    1. Author
      Amanda Mouttaki

      Thanks for the suggestion! I do like Shukr and splurge sometimes with their clothes ;)

        1. Author
          Amanda Mouttaki

          oh I’m a clearance queen too! Their clothes really are very nice – they’re always very well made and wash well. Someday when I have an unlimited clothes budget….

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